Ellie: "I Just Want To Get Back At My Boyfriend"
Ellie's been booted out of her flat by her bastard boyfriend, shivering in her jim-jams in the hallway like some Dickensian street urchin. I lure her upstairs with promises of paternal benevolence, and there unleash an ingenious plan of revenge -- that she should give my willy a tickle with her tongue (and perhaps a bit more), while Andy records her infidelity with his camcorder so that we can burn a copy onto a disc afterwards and slip it under the guy's door.